Couples Therapy
Couples begin the process of healing from the pain wrought by the betrayal and mistrust they experience and shame they carry as the result of the addict’s behavior. Couples learn to dialogue about feelings, work through disclosure, achieve forgiveness and learn about healthy relating and ultimately develop emotional and sexual intimacy. We counsel couples during the many stages of a relationship, including: Couples Therapy, Discernment Counseling, and Collaborative Divorce Coaching.
Many people face deep anxiety at the thought of starting couples counseling. What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m not understood? Can it really help our particular situation?
While those concerns are common, every year thousands of couples across the nation find the solutions to their issues in couples counseling. Talking to a professional will often have immediate and surprisingly positive results. True change can be difficult and requires time and effort, but your therapist will help you explore long-standing communication patterns, learn to see and respect each other’s differences, and help you gain insight to make positive changes in your lives.
Some issues that bring couples to therapy are:
- Addiction/Partner Addiction Support
- Balance (Work/Life/Family)
- Blended Families
- Chronic Illness
- Divorce
- Extended Family
- Infidelity/Cheating
- Intimacy
- Mental Illness
- Pre-Marital/Readiness
- Pornography
- Sex
Discernment Counseling
One of you wants to work on saving the marriage, and the other is seeking a divorce. It’s a common relationship issue. In fact, in the world of Marriage and Family therapists, we call these couples “mixed agenda” relationships. They represent nearly 30% of clients who seek marriage counseling.
Discernment Counseling is a new approach to couples therapy specifically for mixed-agenda couples. DC is a systematic approach to help both partners. Its primary goal is to help each partner gain clarity and confidence in their decisions. It also seeks to help the clients understand the dynamics of their relationships and how each person involved contributed to the current state of things.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM DISCERNMENT COUNSELING?
– DC typically lasts between 1-5 sessions
– Each session is 1-1/2 to 2 hours long
– We will work with both partners individually
– Both partners will feel clarity and confidence about their decisions moving forward.
DISCERNMENT COUNSELING IS NOT SUITABLE IF
– One partner has already made up their mind to divorce and is only using this therapy to pressure their partner into an agreement.
– One partner is threatening the other in order to coerce them into trying DC.
– There is domestic violence within the relationship or danger of it.
– There is a restraining order in place against one of the participants.
DIVORCE
DIVORCE IS NOT THE END OF THE ROAD, IT’S A CHANGE OF DIRECTION.
The Collaborative Process allows clients to divorce respectfully and provides parents the opportunity to dance at their children’s weddings, while the uncoupling partners retain relationships with the extended family systems.
Ending a relationship can be one of the most difficult and most important decisions of your life. It is a time of great uncertainty. The effects of the divorce process will ripple out to your friends, loved ones, and especially your children. Collaborative Divorce sometimes referred to as “peaceful divorce” or “no court” divorce, aims at reducing the conflict of uncoupling while opening healthy lines of communication. As the name would suggest, this is a collaborative process. It helps you have constructive conversations about co-parenting, as well as creating a meaningful plan toward reaching your co-parenting goals while working with a team of Collaboratively trained Attorneys and Financial Neutrals to assist the clients in making their own choices through fairness.
Research has shown that children can navigate relatively well through difficult life transitions. They can even manage through the move into two separate households. What tends to cause harm to children, in the long run, is the conflict between parents. Collaborative Divorce coaching will help both you and your spouse work together to minimize the pain and grief of this time for your children, yourselves, as well as explore how to provide the support they need.
THE COMMON GOALS OF COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ARE TO
– Arrive at a settlement that is mutually acceptable without using courts or the traditional litigation process to decide important issues.
– Maintain healthy, respectful, and informed communication through the entire process
CONSIDER COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE IF YOU
– Want to maintain a healthy and respectful process and resolution, even if you don’t agree
– Want to make your children’s needs a priority
– Can consider your spouses’ needs equal to your own, and listen objectively.
– Are willing to be creative and cooperative in problem-solving.
– Recognize that it is important to reach beyond today’s frustration to plan for tomorrow.
– Can act in an ethical way toward your spouse.
– Want to maintain control of the divorce process and not hand over the process to the courts.
This process will allow us to effectively communicate the needs of everyone involved while minimizing emotional conflict and staying present with the issues or concerns relating to the negotiation of the divorce.
We will assist the parents and Collaborative Team by identifying and expressing the developmental needs and concerns of the children while acting as a conduit by giving the children a voice in the process.